My name is Rob Gressis, and I’m a professor of philosophy at California State University, Northridge. You may know me from my book, The Most Awkward Man in Japan: Dispatches from a Philosopher Abroad, or from my many crimes. Although I teach philosophy, a far more relevant fact about me is that I have been a fan of the Cincinnati Bengals since 1989, when I watched them lose Super Bowl XXIII to the San Francisco 49ers, 16 to 20. The Bengals were expected to lose by 7, so, unsurprisingly, Cincinnati fans stormed the field in celebration: “the Bengals beat the spread!!” they screamed. By contrast, San Francisco fans looked on in anguish as 49ers owner Edward DeBartolo, Jr. floppily held up the Vince Lombardi trophy in the San Fran locker room after the game.

That day, a fan was born. I was that fan.